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Blog Archive
rant: group chats need to die
Originally published in frankie magazine. At the risk of being overly sentimental about my youth, something I remember rather fondly about my late teenage years is how everything seemed to happen in the group chat. Endless plans were made. Nights out were documented. Break-ups were dissected, analysed. An abundance of frivolous bullying took place. There was something sacred about the group chat: something so simple about the way it sustained a constant sense of closeness wit
4 min read
The awkward terror of high school reunions
Originally published in frankie magazine. It was my ten-year high school reunion last weekend, and I did not want to go. This isn’t to say I hated high school. Contrary to almost every teenager throughout human history, I actually had a reasonably good experience of high school. It was not without struggle of course—my first heartbreak comes to mind, as does the related memory of its soundtrack, John Mayer’s breakup album Continuum. Despite this, the very thought of going to
4 min read
I told my girlfriend we'd never get a cat. Now we have two.
And here's what I've learned about relationships.
4 min read
Girl Meets Europe
Originally published by Two Wolves Digest It was a classic tale of Girl meets Europe. Girl finishes high school, dreams of seeing the world, saves up her money, defies her parents’ expectations to set off travelling around the world, and inevitably, falls head over heels for Europe. Swept up in the thrill of adventure, Girl visits as many countries as she can, as quickly as she can, barely able to get enough of Europe. Girl does all the things every girl dreams of doing in Eu
8 min read
A Barefoot Investment
When Australian icon, the Barefoot Investor, has his son kidnapped and held for ransom, Barefoot must grapple with unprecedented moral and financial dilemmas. . . . Originally published in Two Wolves Digest. For the past 10 years, Scott Pape, or ‘The Barefoot Investor’ as he is known to the country, has had a simple mission statement: to help as many people as he can to improve their financial wellbeing. All walks of life; all levels of wealth. Barefoot is a simple country ma
19 min read
My First Rodeo
When a man notices his friends using the phrase 'this isn't my first rodeo' to seemingly no end, he begins to suspect they have been going to rodeos without him. . . . Originally published in Two Wolves Digest. I was sitting around with my friends on Sunday, because that’s what we do when there’s nothing else happening: sit around. Last Sunday was one of those Sundays. We were spread out on the couches in my friend Franco’s lounge room—we alternate whose lounge room we do no
8 min read
I'm an optional cover letter requirement, allow me to ruin your entire afternoon
Originally published in Points in Case. ‘Don’t give me that look… no one’s forcing you. But you do want this job, right?’ Look, I know you already spent ages preparing a resume tailored to this job application which concisely summarises your experience, qualifications and skills, but just to circle back, would you mind reiterating all of that in a one-pager for me? It shouldn’t take you long. Now before you roll your eyes, remember, I am optional. So, if you do want to just h
3 min read
A Beginner's Guide to Writing a Birthday Text Message
1. Start with simplicity: “Happy birthday [name of friend, family member, or person you feel compelled to message since they wished you a...
2 min read
Passata Day Elegy
Originally published in Minimum Wage: Food Issue Everyone, Everyone! Out the back of the apartment block where like a restaurant everything disguised by green and white table cloth. Brown sourdough fighting to wipe the last vinegar drops. Someone, put the dog inside. The first tomato held up like a sacrifice. The press lifted to the table, thumbs rough like salt peel away the blemishes as if stroking the forehead of a cat. A river of jars wait for a kiss from a basil leaf. Th
1 min read
BMX boy in a broken beach town
Originally published in Voiceworks Issue 114: Slug. Pup churns up knuckly crunch, numbskulls thumbs up. Nuns bluffed by 5 gum chuff. Church: cut. Mum? Hung up. Full brunt surf crust! Sun’s grumbly buzz, blurry ruckus pumps by lunch. BMX run ups mucus flung at trucks. Hustle us! Windows up? Pffft dumb fuck. Curly fuzz uncut. Untucks, struts, dunks—dumb luck. Sculls rum, dry bud crumbs. Clumsy buzz. Chucks up… Mum turns up. Run! Dusk comes. TV’s hushed over grub: ‘Unruly teens
1 min read
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